if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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