operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
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He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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