Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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