I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
