If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
