tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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