Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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