ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize