the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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