I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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