I wish i was in the wii world.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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