hell yes lets make some ravioli
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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