Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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