I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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