It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
