What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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