i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
