Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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