Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
