do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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