ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
