with your own penis?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
