six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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