break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
