I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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