I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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