I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
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Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.