WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?