Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage