The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
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They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
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This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.