Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
