it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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