who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
