sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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