just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Can I color on your dick again?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
