I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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