thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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