just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
