so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
