Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
