direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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