Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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