I'm lost and stupid without you.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
