WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
