I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
