im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize
