let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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