So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
