I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
