are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize