this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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