he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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