Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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