so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
