people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Randomize