just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
