I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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