To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
